They're supah freakeh olololololololololololo
badgers smile smiles.
jesus was a turtle and he gave little kiddies rides to the fair in the fall. then he ate a sandwich that he made with peanut butter and bacon.
hi e'erybody. yarr. me a pirate. i found this blog again so now im gonna post. this blog gave me a couple laughs. oh who am i kidding, this blog is the greatest thing ever! forever never ever for ever. i laughed so much because it was great. it was great cause it was funny. the end.
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
Friday, June 11, 2010
Reward
The reward in The Landing was the end. I can't properly explain how rewarded I felt after reading the entire novel! I was liek, "man that was good stuf." The authour really put a lot of effort into making this a worthwhile nov-
eugh.
ow, I just broke my sarcasm gland. The Landing still sucks,
eugh.
ow, I just broke my sarcasm gland. The Landing still sucks,
Approach to the Inmost Cave
As you may already know, based on past posts, I'm going to talk about how The Landing lacks all major journey elements, "approach to the inmost cave" included. But to mix things up, I'm going to talk about how The Landing is a great example of quality literature!
At a glance, it is easy to see that The Landing is written excellently (is that a word). The characters are richly developed, plotlines are well told, and emotions practically jump off the page. When the main character, Ben, must approach the inmost cave, you can feel the intensity of his fear, the adjectives and metaphors used to describe his feelings in the novel are simply astounding.
Anyway, the inmost cave in my favourite novel is the- it's...
screw it, the novel sucks,
At a glance, it is easy to see that The Landing is written excellently (is that a word). The characters are richly developed, plotlines are well told, and emotions practically jump off the page. When the main character, Ben, must approach the inmost cave, you can feel the intensity of his fear, the adjectives and metaphors used to describe his feelings in the novel are simply astounding.
Anyway, the inmost cave in my favourite novel is the- it's...
screw it, the novel sucks,
Friday, May 21, 2010
Friday, May 14, 2010
Pancakes and Maple Syrup, a Boatload of Fun
Why the unusual title? I'd like to think that by using a creative blog post name, I can create an interesting post about good things and bad in an inspiring way. Man. I love pancakes. It's like a cake, except you bake it on a stove. Or a toaster, if you decide to use freezer made pancakes. The syrup shouldn't be too sticky nor too runny. Syrup is good on anything.
Friday, April 30, 2010
Refusing the Call to Adventure
Before we go over the refusal of adventure, we should probably go over the actual adventure in The Landing. The adventure in The Landing consists of...
sorry, I need some time to think this over. It's hard to find something exciting in a book that sucksssssss.
Okay, I got it. The adventure in this novel is Ben's journey is getting out of the Landing (cottage land) and into the city life. Ben refuses this adventure. He never even tries. How exciting. A bratty, stingy, inconsiderate, depressed, annoying, overdramatic, pessimistic 16 year old says no to his adventure- the entire time.
"I can't get out"
...great. THANKS FOR WRITING A NOVEL ENTIRELY BASED ON DEPRESSION AND THE REFUSAL OF DOING SOMETHING EXCITING. IT MAKES FOR AN EXCITING READ EVERY SINGLE TIME. I LOVE THE LANDING, IT MAKES ME HAPPY WHEN I READ IT.
Let's backtrack now. "...ENTIRELY BASED ON DEPRESSION..." (Spanish Blog, Woodley). Smoking is linked to depression and mental conditions in a very large way. 90% of schizophrenics smoke, and over 50% of depressed people smoke. Clearly, the author is trying to make anyone who reads his novel begin a life shortening habit by becoming depressed, and resorting to the nicotine in cigarrettes to become happy. Mr. Ibbitson is attempting to start a smoking epidemic through literature.
Sickening.
sorry, I need some time to think this over. It's hard to find something exciting in a book that sucksssssss.
Okay, I got it. The adventure in this novel is Ben's journey is getting out of the Landing (cottage land) and into the city life. Ben refuses this adventure. He never even tries. How exciting. A bratty, stingy, inconsiderate, depressed, annoying, overdramatic, pessimistic 16 year old says no to his adventure- the entire time.
"I can't get out"
...great. THANKS FOR WRITING A NOVEL ENTIRELY BASED ON DEPRESSION AND THE REFUSAL OF DOING SOMETHING EXCITING. IT MAKES FOR AN EXCITING READ EVERY SINGLE TIME. I LOVE THE LANDING, IT MAKES ME HAPPY WHEN I READ IT.
Let's backtrack now. "...ENTIRELY BASED ON DEPRESSION..." (Spanish Blog, Woodley). Smoking is linked to depression and mental conditions in a very large way. 90% of schizophrenics smoke, and over 50% of depressed people smoke. Clearly, the author is trying to make anyone who reads his novel begin a life shortening habit by becoming depressed, and resorting to the nicotine in cigarrettes to become happy. Mr. Ibbitson is attempting to start a smoking epidemic through literature.
Sickening.
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
Mr. Bean- Literature at it's best
We all know who Mr. Bean is. A hilarious British guy that does silly stuff and makes everybody laugh (unless you like The Landing, in which case you must hate everything). The world has been bestowed upon a great honour. The Mr. Bean series. This series consists of 14 thirty minute episodes, all chalk full of hilarious antics. In 1997, Rowan Atkinson raised the bar for comedy by releasing BEAN: The Movie. Easily the greatest achievement in film ever achieved by anyone in forever. I died laughing, luckily, imma kitteh. 8 lives left.
Now, some of our more obnoxious readers will have noticed the title of this post, "Mr. Bean- Literature at it's best". You're thinking, "Mr. Bean isn't a story". And you're right. It's a legacy. A legacy that has inspired billions. We should all try to be more like Mr. Bean, whether it's by using autmoatic weapons to turn off the lights, or by throwing toy sheep at Baby Jesus dolls (watch the Christmas episode -.-). If we all could at least try to become a Bean ourselves, then maybe, just maybe, the world could come together in a peaceful manner.
I thank you, Rowan Atkinson. I thank you Mr. Bean. I'd also like to thank The Academy. This was a great year for film. Thank you to James, you've been a great director; you're crazy, but you make a lot of money. I can't believe I won an award for Best Actor even though all I did was attempt a series of physical actions that would later be recreated in digital format on a computer! I'm sorry *sniffs*, I think I might cry. Well, it looks like I'm running out of time. I'm going to let Ben Stiller come do a bad joke mocking the film now. Bye!
Now, some of our more obnoxious readers will have noticed the title of this post, "Mr. Bean- Literature at it's best". You're thinking, "Mr. Bean isn't a story". And you're right. It's a legacy. A legacy that has inspired billions. We should all try to be more like Mr. Bean, whether it's by using autmoatic weapons to turn off the lights, or by throwing toy sheep at Baby Jesus dolls (watch the Christmas episode -.-). If we all could at least try to become a Bean ourselves, then maybe, just maybe, the world could come together in a peaceful manner.
I thank you, Rowan Atkinson. I thank you Mr. Bean. I'd also like to thank The Academy. This was a great year for film. Thank you to James, you've been a great director; you're crazy, but you make a lot of money. I can't believe I won an award for Best Actor even though all I did was attempt a series of physical actions that would later be recreated in digital format on a computer! I'm sorry *sniffs*, I think I might cry. Well, it looks like I'm running out of time. I'm going to let Ben Stiller come do a bad joke mocking the film now. Bye!
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