Before we go over the refusal of adventure, we should probably go over the actual adventure in The Landing. The adventure in The Landing consists of...
sorry, I need some time to think this over. It's hard to find something exciting in a book that sucksssssss.
Okay, I got it. The adventure in this novel is Ben's journey is getting out of the Landing (cottage land) and into the city life. Ben refuses this adventure. He never even tries. How exciting. A bratty, stingy, inconsiderate, depressed, annoying, overdramatic, pessimistic 16 year old says no to his adventure- the entire time.
"I can't get out"
...great. THANKS FOR WRITING A NOVEL ENTIRELY BASED ON DEPRESSION AND THE REFUSAL OF DOING SOMETHING EXCITING. IT MAKES FOR AN EXCITING READ EVERY SINGLE TIME. I LOVE THE LANDING, IT MAKES ME HAPPY WHEN I READ IT.
Let's backtrack now. "...ENTIRELY BASED ON DEPRESSION..." (Spanish Blog, Woodley). Smoking is linked to depression and mental conditions in a very large way. 90% of schizophrenics smoke, and over 50% of depressed people smoke. Clearly, the author is trying to make anyone who reads his novel begin a life shortening habit by becoming depressed, and resorting to the nicotine in cigarrettes to become happy. Mr. Ibbitson is attempting to start a smoking epidemic through literature.
Sickening.
Friday, April 30, 2010
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
Mr. Bean- Literature at it's best
We all know who Mr. Bean is. A hilarious British guy that does silly stuff and makes everybody laugh (unless you like The Landing, in which case you must hate everything). The world has been bestowed upon a great honour. The Mr. Bean series. This series consists of 14 thirty minute episodes, all chalk full of hilarious antics. In 1997, Rowan Atkinson raised the bar for comedy by releasing BEAN: The Movie. Easily the greatest achievement in film ever achieved by anyone in forever. I died laughing, luckily, imma kitteh. 8 lives left.
Now, some of our more obnoxious readers will have noticed the title of this post, "Mr. Bean- Literature at it's best". You're thinking, "Mr. Bean isn't a story". And you're right. It's a legacy. A legacy that has inspired billions. We should all try to be more like Mr. Bean, whether it's by using autmoatic weapons to turn off the lights, or by throwing toy sheep at Baby Jesus dolls (watch the Christmas episode -.-). If we all could at least try to become a Bean ourselves, then maybe, just maybe, the world could come together in a peaceful manner.
I thank you, Rowan Atkinson. I thank you Mr. Bean. I'd also like to thank The Academy. This was a great year for film. Thank you to James, you've been a great director; you're crazy, but you make a lot of money. I can't believe I won an award for Best Actor even though all I did was attempt a series of physical actions that would later be recreated in digital format on a computer! I'm sorry *sniffs*, I think I might cry. Well, it looks like I'm running out of time. I'm going to let Ben Stiller come do a bad joke mocking the film now. Bye!
Now, some of our more obnoxious readers will have noticed the title of this post, "Mr. Bean- Literature at it's best". You're thinking, "Mr. Bean isn't a story". And you're right. It's a legacy. A legacy that has inspired billions. We should all try to be more like Mr. Bean, whether it's by using autmoatic weapons to turn off the lights, or by throwing toy sheep at Baby Jesus dolls (watch the Christmas episode -.-). If we all could at least try to become a Bean ourselves, then maybe, just maybe, the world could come together in a peaceful manner.
I thank you, Rowan Atkinson. I thank you Mr. Bean. I'd also like to thank The Academy. This was a great year for film. Thank you to James, you've been a great director; you're crazy, but you make a lot of money. I can't believe I won an award for Best Actor even though all I did was attempt a series of physical actions that would later be recreated in digital format on a computer! I'm sorry *sniffs*, I think I might cry. Well, it looks like I'm running out of time. I'm going to let Ben Stiller come do a bad joke mocking the film now. Bye!
Sunday, April 25, 2010
Character Analysis- Eva in Freedom Writers
Throughout the film, Freedom Writers, the students all become new people. They change significantly because of the environment Ms. Gruwell has create for them, and their own determination.
Eva, one of the students, learns that she has more independence and potential for freedom. At the beginning, Eva follows her gang, doing what they do, making sure that she doesn't anger anyone in her racial group. By listening to Ms. Gruwell's teachings, she finds that there doesn't need to be a war between races, and stands up for what she thinks is right, regardless if her gang approves or not. Eva was originally stubborn, refusing to do schoolwork, and didn't see the point of it all, but again, through her forced education, she found that school was the key to freedom.
Eva changed a lot through the film, she learned of important moral values, and how to be her own person.
Eva, one of the students, learns that she has more independence and potential for freedom. At the beginning, Eva follows her gang, doing what they do, making sure that she doesn't anger anyone in her racial group. By listening to Ms. Gruwell's teachings, she finds that there doesn't need to be a war between races, and stands up for what she thinks is right, regardless if her gang approves or not. Eva was originally stubborn, refusing to do schoolwork, and didn't see the point of it all, but again, through her forced education, she found that school was the key to freedom.
Eva changed a lot through the film, she learned of important moral values, and how to be her own person.
Friday, April 23, 2010
Crossing the Threshold...
Ben's ordinary world consists of a crappy house, a mean uncle, and a housewife-widow-mother. Ben crosses the threshold into a new world when he...
he... um... goes on a biblical adventure... ? (only french students would understand that huh-lay-ree-us joke)
Let's review the plot and see where Ben crosses the threshold:
1. Bad musical reaction
2. A dumb chapter
3. A rich person comes and wants them to fix the cottage
4. They fix the cottage
5. Ben gets drunk
6. Hangover
7. Ben cries
8. Ben gets on a boat
9. The uncle dies
10. Ben cries again
11. His mom packs their stuff
12. They leave for Toronto where they will live in poverty
So I guess going to Toronto counts as crossing the threshold into the new world, but we never even get to read about the new world. So in theory, The Landing is only a seventh of a novel. Does this mean there will be a sequel? I can't wait.
I'm not completely satisfied with this explanation, so by using complex algorithms, I'm going to find the real threshold.
e=3x^2
threshold=e^6x
threshold=t
t=a book that sucks
he... um... goes on a biblical adventure... ? (only french students would understand that huh-lay-ree-us joke)
Let's review the plot and see where Ben crosses the threshold:
1. Bad musical reaction
2. A dumb chapter
3. A rich person comes and wants them to fix the cottage
4. They fix the cottage
5. Ben gets drunk
6. Hangover
7. Ben cries
8. Ben gets on a boat
9. The uncle dies
10. Ben cries again
11. His mom packs their stuff
12. They leave for Toronto where they will live in poverty
So I guess going to Toronto counts as crossing the threshold into the new world, but we never even get to read about the new world. So in theory, The Landing is only a seventh of a novel. Does this mean there will be a sequel? I can't wait.
I'm not completely satisfied with this explanation, so by using complex algorithms, I'm going to find the real threshold.
e=3x^2
threshold=e^6x
threshold=t
t=a book that sucks
Limiting Beliefs
The Landing is all about limiting beliefs. From beginning to end, the characters just can't stop talking about limiting beliefs. I mean, really, shut up! As interesting as it is, I don't want to read an entire book about how some bratty 16 year old whines every day because he is stuck in Muskoka.
"We have been living in cottage country all our lives. We can't get out."
A couple paragraphs later.
"Being stuck here sucks..."
A sentence later.
"Ugh"
A chapter later.
"Muskoka is like a box of chocolates. You're stuck."
As you can see, the authour has done everything in his power to make the novel as boring as possible. References to limiting beliefs can be a key into how the character feels about their ordinary world, but basing the entire novel on this makes the reader feel depressed and annoyed.
Maybe, instead of complaining all day, Ben should actually do something with his life so he can get out of his ordinary world. But wait. That would involve making money, and like Ben says, "money suckssss, people underpay me". Heartbreaking.
"We have been living in cottage country all our lives. We can't get out."
A couple paragraphs later.
"Being stuck here sucks..."
A sentence later.
"Ugh"
A chapter later.
"Muskoka is like a box of chocolates. You're stuck."
As you can see, the authour has done everything in his power to make the novel as boring as possible. References to limiting beliefs can be a key into how the character feels about their ordinary world, but basing the entire novel on this makes the reader feel depressed and annoyed.
Maybe, instead of complaining all day, Ben should actually do something with his life so he can get out of his ordinary world. But wait. That would involve making money, and like Ben says, "money suckssss, people underpay me". Heartbreaking.
Monday, April 19, 2010
Tis a Sonnet
Media has taken over the world
Transforming teens into something they're not
"Perfection" is what teenagers want most
Taking a toll on their young fragile minds
TV has made a false reality
Creating a new way we see the world
A poison, a virus, mind altering
The real you is never quite good enough
From ads and TV and peer pressure too
Being yourself isn't easy to do
Transforming teens into something they're not
"Perfection" is what teenagers want most
Taking a toll on their young fragile minds
TV has made a false reality
Creating a new way we see the world
A poison, a virus, mind altering
The real you is never quite good enough
From ads and TV and peer pressure too
Being yourself isn't easy to do
Friday, April 16, 2010
The English Blog
As you all know, this is Dylan's Spanish Blog. Unfortunately most of my readers do not share the Mexican heritage I have. To accomodate for this inconvenience I will be posting all of my posts in actual English (instead of Spanish like it is now) on the English Blog. If you speak English more fluently than Spanish, than head over to Dylan's English Blog!
For more information, contact me at 867-5309
For more information, contact me at 867-5309
The Hero of The Landing
Last month, I had the displeasure of reading The Landing. Last week, I had the pleasure of reading Blink, by Malcolm Gladwell. You know what that means!? No more posts about The Landing!! Right there, site traffic increased 700%! Great news can really pull in an audience!
But here's the bad news. Blink is non-fiction, so it does not apply to the blog post themes. I will continue to post about The Landing. Right there, 80% of the 700% of the 100% turned off their computers in horror, while the other 20% experienced severe mental trauma.
Anyway, today's post is about heroes. The Landing is full of heroic characters, from the grumpy uncle to the housewife widow (housewidow?). I'll start (and end) with Ben, a 16 (or 17, possibly 15, I have no reference, I threw the novel into a fireplace after reading) year old boy (or girl, possibly hermit, I have no reference, I threw the novel into a fireplace after reading) that plays the bagpipes (i.e. fiddle) and fixes cottages over the summer. What are his heroic qualities you ask? Here's a few.
-Incessant whining
-Bad music interests
-Overdramatic
-Plays the bagpipes (i.e. fiddle)
-Chatty
-Shy
-Pessimist
-Iliterate (spelled incorrectly because I am iliterate)
-Stingy
-Inconsiderate
-Lazy
-Vengeful
-Rebellious
-Annoying
-Depressed
-Dull
-Impolite
-dumb
-Rude
-Purple
-Lonely
-Short
-Evil
-Villainous
-Gullible
-Aggressive
So is Ben a villain? I'll let you decide.
But the answer's yes.
But here's the bad news. Blink is non-fiction, so it does not apply to the blog post themes. I will continue to post about The Landing. Right there, 80% of the 700% of the 100% turned off their computers in horror, while the other 20% experienced severe mental trauma.
Anyway, today's post is about heroes. The Landing is full of heroic characters, from the grumpy uncle to the housewife widow (housewidow?). I'll start (and end) with Ben, a 16 (or 17, possibly 15, I have no reference, I threw the novel into a fireplace after reading) year old boy (or girl, possibly hermit, I have no reference, I threw the novel into a fireplace after reading) that plays the bagpipes (i.e. fiddle) and fixes cottages over the summer. What are his heroic qualities you ask? Here's a few.
-Incessant whining
-Bad music interests
-Overdramatic
-Plays the bagpipes (i.e. fiddle)
-Chatty
-Shy
-Pessimist
-Iliterate (spelled incorrectly because I am iliterate)
-Stingy
-Inconsiderate
-Lazy
-Vengeful
-Rebellious
-Annoying
-Depressed
-Dull
-Impolite
-dumb
-Rude
-Purple
-Lonely
-Short
-Evil
-Villainous
-Gullible
-Aggressive
So is Ben a villain? I'll let you decide.
But the answer's yes.
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